ebullience.
portland state university flickr i’ve had this epiphany.
okay, technically it was a co-worker who unintentionally planted this seed of positivity in my mind. this might sound surprising, but work is not always unicorns and rainbows. (sarcasm)
you are given a new project by your boss. one of many.
your workload might be out of control. my asana is bleeding red from missed due dates. gah!
your purchasing vendor cannot figure out how to complete an invoice. technically, i still have not figured this workflow out either.
uncontrollable, unforeseeable, undesirable circumstances will inevitably meander into your workplace. for the past six years (longer?), i have been a complainer. i have been a whiner. i have been the 90% of employees. of people.
cue co-worker entrance, stage left.
as the technology coordinator at portland state campus rec, i have a lot of interaction with the marketing coordinator. not only because i am obsessed with social networking, typeface and graphic design. no, it is so much more than that. our fields are “besties” (ya know…best friends).
therefore, from time to time, i leave my cubicle and journey over to hers. it seemed like every conversation would involve me rambling on about how “something was not perfect” or “not working out to my benefit.”
“jeez, alex, tone it down.” — internal monologue
her responses were (are) consistently uplifting, positive and insightful. each conversation provided me awareness of my extremely negative attitude. it was apparent enough for me to refer to her as the “posi” to my “negi.” yes, we are those people.
hence, i realized i have a problem and like the ocd, organized, motivated person i am, i had to fix it. then i remembered that there are those things called new years resolutions.
for the start of the new year, i signed up for the portland state healthy u wellness challenge. in this 8-week challenge, you aim to focus on your wellness in a variety of categories (fiscal, physical, emotional, spiritual, environmental, et al.). along with registration, we were provided a gratitude journal that allows participants to document daily a few things that they are grateful for. this is where it started.
“gratitude, not understanding, is the secret to joy and equanimity.”
— anne lamott
what i have learned
being 18 days into the new year, i have 18 entries in my gratitude journal. at first, i did not believe i could find something tangible to profess my gratitude toward. the reality is that there are a myriad of moments in your day to reflect upon and give thanks. some of the larger things that i have noticed include:
i am fortunate the fact that i can type this on the internet shows you something. i have access. i have security. i have a voice. i can get in my car and meet up with friends. i can check my iphone and read another medium post. i can explore the outdoors. i am fortunate.
i am healthy working out and exercise provide me time to reflect, think, postulate and further explore myself. the fact that i have a healthy mind and body is a high-level, indisputable claim of gratitude. thank you.
i am happy while i am not happy all day every day. i am happy every day. i have a great collective of friends and co-workers. i have supportive extended family members, parents and siblings. i get to come home to my constantly-meowing-until-freed cat. i smile, a lot.
i am employed & valued in the current economy, i am incredibly thankful for my job. not only because i have one, but because i get to learn continuously. i get to embrace my current curiosity and follow it. my ideas and suggestions are valued. my opinions are heard and integrated. i am continually inspired, empowered and educated.
in the end, the journey toward finding true positivity and ebullience continues for me. i’m excited for the day that i fully transition into being someone’s “posie” and their motivation for delving into their own gratitude.
what are you thankful for? how do you remain positive? provide me continued thoughts on twitter, @alexlaughnan. engaged in this article? click “recommend” below!